There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
