I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wear drunk well.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
