Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
