I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Randomize
