my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize