Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
