you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
