Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
