My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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