after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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