Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
