Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
