Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
