Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
one two three fourrrrnication!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
