maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
