I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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