Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
