just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
