Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
