i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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