The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
