spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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