No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
