She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
