Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
