When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
