No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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