i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
