I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
50% drunk capacity currently
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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