Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
