I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
