exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
