I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
