id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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