hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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