i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
