Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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