i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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