After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
