and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
