Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Everything about him screamed your future.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
