Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
