Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
