i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
