the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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