Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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