upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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