just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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