She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
