so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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